Article #70.

interview part 4

“When you came to Jesus as a gay sex addict, He took what He had to work with, a malfunctioning passion to love indiscriminately . . . it is now a gift in the Restorer’s hand . . . the ability to love without prejudice.”

– Steve, Robert’s accountability partner and friend (from the article: “A Sex Addict’s Gift”)

In Part One of this interview series, Robert (author/editor of Buggin’ Out! Newsletter) talked about how his literature ministry to reach and engage struggling sex addicts (like himself) came into existence (back in the 1990s).

In Part Two I asked him to tackle these subjects: (1) his life before starting a literature ministry, (2) the challenges of ministry, (3) how he has made sense of his same-sex attractions and experiences and (4) his thoughts about politics.

In Part Three Robert shared:

  • his vision of the ideal ministry for people with unwanted homosexuality
  • how we should care for openly gay (or same-sex attracted) youth
  • a very painful time in his life when Kevin (his ministry/accountability partner and close friend) left the faith, readopted a Gay identity (as the larger culture and the mainstream, gay community defines the term) and got married (to another man)

I conclude my interview with Robert by asking him to select a few articles from “Buggin’ Out!” that are the most meaningful to him. For each article he selected, I’ve included a short excerpt and a link. (All articles are in PDF format.)

Darrell Martin: Of all the articles written for “Buggin’ Out!”, name the ones that are your favorites, that are of personal importance to you and that gained the most reactions from your readers.

Robert Lombardi: “To My Best Friend” is the most personal article to me. It sums up the pain and confusion of my entire younger life. I wept often and gained so much insight into myself while writing it. 

Today, you asked me “What’s wrong?”

How can I begin to tell you what’s wrong? The fact that you are persistent and will not accept “nothing” as my answer, shows me your concern for me is real. I like that. What you don’t know is that the more love and affection you show me, the more difficult and confusing my already difficult and confusing life becomes.

You see, I really care about you. Don’t smile yet and please take your hand off my shoulder. You can’t imagine the effect that has on me.

I love our friendship and wouldn’t trade it for the world. But, I have something to confess. In a strange, rare way, I’ve used you . . .

To continue reading “To My Best Friend: Confessions of a Christian Teen Struggling With Homosexuality”, click here.

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Robert: “Touched by a Christian” is the most exciting article to me. While writing it, I began to understand why God allows my struggle to continue . . . without my struggle, I would not be a very useful servant. Strangely, it is also Kevin’s favorite article.  He says that is shows what a nutcase I truly am (he says it with love).
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Before reading this article, you need to know that I am a big fan of the show “Touched By An Angel”. For those of you who have never seen it, it stars Della Reese and Roma Downey. They portray two angels, Tess and Monica, who are sent to earth to deliver messages of God’s love to men and women in crisis.
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When I was a gay sex addict cruising through New York City seeking contact with men, in the deepest, most private sector of my heart, there lived a hope that wouldn’t die . . . a hope that, one night, I would turn a corner while sinning in Brooklyn, and be greeted by Roma Downey in a glowing white bathrobe. She would smile like a poster child for Crest Whitening Strips, and inform me that she has come to deliver a personal message to me from God. The message would be communicated in a Scottish accent and go something like this . . .
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To continue reading “Touched By A Christian”, click here.

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trust 4
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Robert: “Bickering with Kevin” is the one I go back to and reread again and again. It is a timeline of my friendships with Kevin and Jesus. It is my favorite simply because it makes me laugh as I remember all that Jesus has done in my life . . . and Kevin’s too. 
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Over the years, I have shared how my friend Kevin and I bicker all the time. We bickered in the early years, when we first met and became accountability partners. We bicker during the ministry years, when we ran a Living Waters Program at our church. And we bicker in 2011, four years into Kevin’s decision to return to the gay lifestyle.
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Although Kevin and I see each other a lot less socially nowadays, we sit within 4 feet of each other 8 hours a day, 5 days a week at our place of employment. We have been coworkers since 1999. This environment is very conducive to getting on each other’s nerves and we release all that pent-up irritation through bickering when we hang out.
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These are some of our more-vivid bickering sessions . . .
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To continue reading “Bickering With Kevin”, click here.

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Robert: “A Dirt Sandwich” has received more responses from readers than any other article. At least ten times more than the others. I am not really sure why. I actually thought I was somewhat snippy, critical and rebellious in it LOL.
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Over the past decade, I have read many of your stories. Accounts of long and frustrating months, often years, in “gay recovery” groups accompanied by a severe and deep loneliness that grew steadily stronger instead of weaker. You close many of your testimonies with I have learned to accept myself as gay, I know God loves me, and I am finally being true to myself.
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I have not shared this before but, for a period of time, I very seriously considered joining your efforts. You had my attention and you had my respect. You see, your testimonies almost convinced me that I had chosen to run a doomed race. But there was one common claim in your media that just would not sit right with me: the statement it didn’t work. I need to find out what it was and how it had failed you.
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To continue reading “A Dirt Sandwich”, click here.

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Darrell: Thank you Robert for taking time out of your busy schedule to field my questions. Sharing your experiences (and what the Lord has done) through the newsletter has extended hope and sympathetic understanding to my heart. I can’t express my gratitude and indebtedness enough (now and over the course of the past 17 years).
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“Buggin’ Out!” was solace and comfort that helped me through some of the darkest moments of my life. It has been a tremendous blessing to be able to learn from you. May God’s grace and strength continue to be with you and your family.

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Robert can be contacted at this email address: bugoutnyc@aol.com

To access back issues of  “Buggin’ Out!” Online Newsletter, click here.

To read my introduction to this interview series (“Connecting With Pain and Brokenness”), click here.

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© Darrell Martin and SameSexAttractions.wordpress.com, 2015.

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