This morning I was thumbing through one of my old journals. I came across the following entry and I felt a need to share it with all of you today. It is typical of my feelings and reality when I was 17-years old and a junior in high school (1991).

I have chosen not to offer context nor an explanation as to how I came these conclusions. I’m just putting it out there with no intention to sway or influence your gut reaction. If you wish to post your response, reaction or comments, please feel free to do so at the end of this article.

“I am afraid of being in a social relationship with another guy because I don’t know what I should expect of myself. I can’t imagine a close friendship without the intense in-love feelings. Without that romantic crush. I am afraid I won’t have any emotional satisfaction or fulfillment in a normal friendship. What does a “normal” friendship with a guy even look like? What does it feel like?! I am afraid of falling in love with him and then being unable to do anything about those feelings. I want to know what guys are like but I am afraid of the responsibility of maintaining a friendship with another guy.”

– April 20, 1991

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© Darrell Martin and SameSexAttractions.wordpress.com, 2015.

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