Same-Sex Attractions

100 articles about experiencing unwanted same-sex attractions while embracing a traditional Christian sexual ethic

My Favorite Posts By Other Bloggers

In addition to the selections below, I admire the writings of two other excellent bloggers: Brent Bailey and Julie Rodgers. Links for their blogs are in the left column of this page.

Click the title of each post to view my “introductory comments / preview” of the article. The link to the original article is found therein.

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“What The Deal With Gay People?”

This is a reblog of Kris Parker’s post. I admire Kris’ short and straightforward post because of his willingness to simply say something and speak out. To acknowledge the church’s hardness and resistance (in general) toward LGBT people.

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“My Big Gay Safety Net”

This is a reblog of StayStrongSojouner’s post. The “simple” question – “is my personal testimony or story a part of God’s will or His plan to glorify Himself in my life or in the lives of others?”

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Starting Conversations. And Stopping Them.”

This is a reblog of Sally Gary’s post. As she reflects on the conversations surrounding marriage rights for same-sex couples (May 2012), she fears “that these comments – in the absence of deep, ongoing, meaningful relationships – are divisive and serve no other purpose but to shut down opportunities for further conversation. And for building those life-altering relationships . . . It’s time to explore what’s underneath, instead of only paying attention to what’s most obvious.” A beautifully written post that runs deep.

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Boycotting: An Unnecessary Evil”

When considering boycotting a business, what exactly is a church’s goal? What is it hoping to accomplish? Any consideration regarding this topic needs serious prayer and discernment. I recommend that you check out and consider this blog post by Shawn Harrison: I believe his perspective is a wise and relevant contribution to this discussion.

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Christianity Isn’t About Going From “Gay” to “Straight” . . . It’s About Turning From Sin to Jesus.

This is a reblog of Matt Moore’s post. In this post, Matt speaks on a theme I have repeated often in this blog: for someone experiencing homosexual attractions, heterosexuality is not the cure or goal. Real change does not mean we won’t ever have same-sex attractions, desires or urges again.

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Understanding The Context of Debate

In this reblog of Ron Belgau’s post, he encourages us to wisely invest in our relationships (interactions) and in our spiritual understanding of God’s word and will. Superficial explanations and arrogant platitudes will almost certainly leave individuals with the impression they have been dismissed or disrespected.  Love must be our motivation. Sincere humility, grace and civility must be evident as we interact and engage with others.

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Mixed-Orientation Marriages

Without a doubt, a complex subject and a complex relationship. Many people who struggle with same-sex attractions are married to someone of the opposite sex. This reblog is Part 1 of a four-part series by Dr. Mark Yarhouse. His presentation may be a little too academic for some, but he does a good job covering the basic questions one may have if interested in this topic. Links to Parts 2, 3 and 4 are included in this post.

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Letter To My Freshman Self

A Christian student at college who contends with same-sex attraction, who has a homosexual orientation or who self-identifies as gay? Everyday can be a series of overwhelming experiences brimming with emotions. In this poignant repost from Spiritual Friendship, Matt Jones reminds us that we are not alone in our experiences. We are valuable to our faith communities. And we need courage to be proactive and to reach out to the Lord and other trusted individuals.

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Diffusing the Transgender Christian Debate

I appreciate Dr. Carr’s concern and work with a population who are misunderstood, ignored and maligned along with gays and lesbians – transgender individuals. Regardless of our circumstances or dispositions, our purpose is to bring glory to God. And for these precious souls, it can be extremely challenging. Answers are elusive. But His grace is present. Included in this repost are more resources/links about theology and transgenderism.

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An Alternative Script For Same – Sex Attraction

There is nothing wrong with living a gay lifestyle. In fact, if you repress who you are, you will never live a happy, fulfilled life. Be true to yourself!” “This is the overwhelming message of society regarding homosexuality. Mark Yarhouse refers to this as “the gay script,” the blueprint for how homosexuals are to live.” . . .

“What the church needs is an alternative script. And it must be a holistic script that accounts for the real emotions and desires of those with SSA. We can’t live a life of only saying, “No!” to our desires. We need to be able to say “Yes!” to something greater, something better.” – Nick Roen

(this post contains links to this and three other articles by Nick; you will also find a video of his testimonial here)

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How To Talk to Young Kids About Same – Sex Relationships

“Moving to Boystown presented my wife and I with a question we hadn’t yet considered as parents: How and when would we step in to explain to our daughter what she was seeing? What was the healthiest way to introduce Norah to the concept of same-sex relationships, and the debate surrounding them, in a way that didn’t demonize anyone–neither her gay neighbors nor her traditionalist grandparents?” – Jason Bilbrey

(This post features links to this article and 3 more articles by Jason Bilbrey.)

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How Is Gay Celibacy Different From Straight Celibacy?

“While on the topic of singleness and celibacy, I think it would be helpful to talk about some of the practical ways that things are different for a lot of people who are celibate because they’re exclusively gay.  I’ll start with my standard disclaimer that as someone who is attracted to both sexes, I am not entirely speaking out of experience.  However, this is something I’ve discussed quite a bit with others, and I think my experience brings something to bear as well.  I’m not trying to say that the situation of exclusively gay people is entirely unique, but there are some practical differences people don’t always think about.” – Jeremy Erickson

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More On Coming Out (Part 2): How Open Should You Be?

Here’s another thoughtful and helpful article by blogger Jeremy Erickson. What are some of the pros and cons of self-disclosing one’s experiences and feelings of same-sex attraction? What are our motivations for doing so? What are some productive ways to navigate this process?

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In addition to the selections above, I admire the writings of two other excellent bloggers: Brent Bailey and Julie Rodgers. Links for their blogs are in the left column of this page. More helpful articles and blog posts can be found on the Resources page.

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