Same-Sex Attractions

100 articles about experiencing unwanted same-sex attractions while embracing a traditional Christian sexual ethic

What Do You Want The Church To Know About You?

What Do You Want The Church To Know About You?

Are you a Christian who experience same-sex attractions?

Do you have a homosexual orientation?

Or do you self-identify as gay?

What do you want the church (or your church) to know about you.

Use these questions as a catalyst to express yourself.

You are invited to share your comments below.

Answer any (or all) of the questions.

Remember to adhere to the ‘Blog Comment Policy’ (at the top of this page).


  1. As a member of the church, what is it like being you?



  1. Are there any burdens or expectations placed upon you by the church or individual Christians (well-intentioned or not; reasonable or not)? What are some examples you could give?



  1. The life, worship and culture of most churches are very family-oriented. If you are single, how does your unmarried status affect your needs and desires? Your relationships with other church members? Do you feel deprived of the intimacy and experiences others may enjoy? How would you explain your circumstances?



  1. What might cause you to stay away from the church?



  1. What would make you feel welcome in a church?



  1. Describe the kind of church you would want to be involved in.



  1. If you could speak openly with church leadership, what would you communicate with them about homosexual attractions (personally or in general)?


Image Courtesy of Stuart Miles /


6 thoughts on “What Do You Want The Church To Know About You?

  1. Thanks for giving me this opportunity. I like your blog because it helps me to understand and to feel as if there are some people who care and are making the effort to grasp what I am going through. I appreciate the fact that you are a Christian and experience same-sex attractions too.

    If there is anything I need right now, it’s to know that my fellow Christians don’t hate me. People like me need people who are not afraid to say that they will love us no matter what. We are scared to death that friends will abandon us and shun us. Scared that we will be forced to choose between being with someone we genuinely love and doomed to spend eternity in hell, or choose to be with Christ, but be alone and miserable for the rest of our lives on earth.

    I tried for years to be just like everyone else and I have failed. My brothers and sisters in Christ have taught me that means I must live alone for the rest of my life. I am to remain celibate because even my desire to be with a man dooms my soul to hell. I am to delicately avoid the questions, “do you have a girlfriend?” and “when are you getting married?” until I’m put in a nursing home – put there by my siblings or my nieces and nephews, rather than the children I can never have. My Christian friends have taught me that this is my fate. Until I hear otherwise from the ones who will love me, I assume that most Christians feel this way.

    1. Chad, I am your fellow Christian and I don’t hate you. I too experience same sex attraction so I understand where you’re coming from. Being gay does not mean that you have to be alone and miserable! The church is our family. Do you have a good church that is coming alongside you in compassion and committed love? If not, I promise they are out there. Your desire does not doom you to hell! Every single person has their own disordered desires. But through Jesus we have been washed, cleansed, and forgiven. And that doesn’t mean the desires just go away. I love you and am praying for you!

    1. Hey, I am glad you found my website! You are more than welcome to share your personal story of unwanted SSA / homosexuality here on my blog as well. You can submit it on the “Share Your Story” page. The form on that page will let you write as much (or as little) as you want. Here’s the link:

      By the way – I will check out your blog. I am interested in following your progress. There is hope (and alternatives) with Jesus. Thanks again for subscribing to my blog.

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